Episode transcript - “(Another) Disaster at the donut festival”
[MUSIC: Forgive Me theme song plays.]
ADAM: Forgive Me! Season 3, Episode 1: (Another) Disaster at the Donut Festival.
[SFX: We open on sounds of the hum of the festival crowd, some light merry music playing in the background, and sounds of a ringing prize bell. Klem and Ben are standing on the small stage at the event.]
FR. KLEM: Sorry Ben! A deal is a deal; you’re not backing out of this now.
FR. BEN: Listen, it was one thing talking to you about this but it’s another… seeing all of them.
FR. KLEM: You’ll be fine, a passionate man like you? I know you’ve got the heart.
FR. BEN: (sheepishly) For now I do…
FR. KLEM: I handled masses for two weeks while you were off galavanting around with your friends.
FR. BEN: Galavanting? I was on a silent retreat with the Genesee River monks!
FR. KLEM: I’m sure you’ve had plenty of time to meditate on how to get through today.
LUKE CARPENTER: (Shouting) Father Ben! Hey! Father Ben!
FR. BEN: (surprised and happy to Klem) Oh! They actually came. (shouting back) Hi Luke, stay there! I’ll be right down.
FR. KLEM: Don’t you go too far. We’re doing this in 5 minutes.
FR. BEN: (already walking away down the stairs, talking to Klem over his shoulder) I’ll be back.
[SFX: Chatter of the crowd for a few moments as Ben walks through. A few passers by quickly say hello.]
ADAM: (calling out) Hi Father!
FR. BEN: (still moving) Good to see you Adam! Hope you’re doing…
[SFX: We hear Andrew running towards Ben and collide into him.]
ANDREW: (jumping to catch a ball and runs into Ben) Got it!
FR. BEN: (getting shoved a bit) Oof!
ANDREW: Caught it. Sorry about that Father!
FR. BEN: (dusting himself off and walking again) It’s alright, Andrew. Good to see you!
MARGARET: Oh Father! I’d like a word when you have a moment.
FR. BEN: Sure, Margaret! Going to greet some guests now but I’ll find you later.
MARGARET: Don’t leave me waiting for too long now young man!
FR. BEN: (calling back to her) I won’t Margaret! (finally reached Lucas) Hey Luke! Oh and Sydney! So great to see you both. And who is this little one?
SYDNEY: (warmly) Good to see you too, Ben. (proudly) This is Archer. Archie, can you say hi?
ARCHIE: (incomprehensible baby sound)!
FR. BEN: (laughing) Good to meet you too Archie! (to Luke and Sydney) He’s very cute. Great job you two.
LUKE: (chuckling) Thanks, Father. Hope we didn’t get you in trouble back there.
FR. BEN: With who? Margaret? (Laughs) Oh no, she’s fine.
SYDNEY: (with a joking wariness) She reminds me of Sister MaryAnn.
[MUSIC: In the background, we hear a guitar strumming lightly for the crowd.]
FR. BEN: (delighted) I had the same thought when I first met her! Gosh, it’s really great to see you both in person. I couldn’t believe it when you called.
LUKE: We couldn’t believe it when we heard you were out here. Imagine our luck!
FR. BEN: What brings you over from Binghamton anyway?
SYDNEY: This one has always dreamed of starting an apple orchard.
FR. BEN: You bought an orchard.
SYDNEY: (laughing) We bought a field, but one Luke is certain can grow apples.
LUKE: It’s gonna be amazing Ben! The property is gorgeous, like something out of a storybook, plus there’s already a beautiful farmhouse on the property. It’s just a really special place.
SYDNEY: The tap water is brown and smells like sulfur, but otherwise I’m pretty excited too.
LUKE: Who needs water when you can drink cider right?
FR. BEN: Seems like a fun adventure.
LUKE: We gotta have you over and I’ll give you a full tour of the place.
SYDNEY: You’ve been here, what? Two years now, Ben? I think he can believe what a country field looks like, Luke.
FR. BEN: I’d love to see it sometime.
SYDNEY: Be careful what you say, Ben. Or he’ll have you with gloves on planting trees within five minutes.
LUKE: Oh come on Syd. I’d wait at least fifteen.
FR. BEN: I’m always open to a hard day's work. The life of a priest can definitely be a bit… sedentary at times.
LUKE: Speaking of, we were so blown away when we called the Church to speak to the pastor and you picked up. The way Fr. Antonio talked after you left, it sounded like you’d been shipped halfway across the world. What did he say?
SYDNEY: (doing an impression of an uptight old priest) Father Ben has been chosen for an emergency mission on behalf of the church.
FR. BEN: (sheepishly chuckling) That does sound a bit dramatic.
LUKE: So imagine our surprise finding you as the pastor in our new hometown.
FR. BEN: Not quite an emergency mission, but here I am.
SYDNEY: There’s gotta be an interesting story there.
[MUSIC: The song in the background fades and is replaced by carnival music.]
FR. BEN: (chuckling again uncomfortably) Nothing so dramatic, just uhh… well… the priest on the stage there was sick and I had to leave… well, not leave… I was needed to support… you know just helping out the Church. (somewhat abruptly) Look at me, rambling on. Let me show you around!
LUKE: Yes please! We’ve been dreaming of coming to the donut festival all week since you invited us.
SYDNEY: Seriously, nothing like a week of unpacking boxes to make you want some fried dough.
FR. BEN: (smiling and as if quoting the Parish) Biggest event of the year! Let's come over to the right, here.
[SFX: We hear the sound of their footsteps as the three tour the festival grounds. As they approach Tom, we hear children cheering.]
FR. BEN: This is our petting Zoo, graciously hosted by Tom here. Tom, this is Luke and Sydney. They’re going to be joining the Parish.
TOM: Good to meet you! Great to see some other younger faces around. Most of the community here is pretty stuck in the 1970’s.
[SFX: We hear the sounds of David the pig huffing in the background.]
FR. BEN: (annoyed) Way to sell it Tom.
TOM: What?! It’s the truth.
SYDNEY: (Laughing) Don’t worry Father. We both love a good bingo night.
FR. BEN: Glad to hear it. (to Tom) Where’s Emily?
TOM: We left David’s sweater in the car and it’s getting a little chilly. She had to take a call so she ran back to get it for him.
FR. BEN: I’ll come back around later to say hi. See you in a bit!
TOM: Sounds good Father. Oh, and good luck You’re gonna need it. Nice meeting you all!
[SFX: The group walks again and we hear the sound of a rolling crib.]
LUKE: Good luck?
FR. BEN: (laughs nervously) You’ll see in a couple minutes. Come over this way.
FR. BEN: This is our Dunk the Usher booth. Hey Steve! This is Luke and Sydney. They’re new to the Parish.
STEVE: Nice to meet you.
FR. BEN: Is that Wade?
WADE: (ecstatic shouting from fifteen or so feet away) Hey there Father Ben!
FR. BEN: (shouting back) Good to see you Wade!
WADE: Are you gonna dunk me?
FR. BEN: Maybe in a bit. Hey Steve?
[SFX: Steve reaches into a cash box and exchanges money with Luke.]
STEVE: One second Father, that’ll be one dollar.
LUKE: Here you go.
FR. BEN: It’s like 50 degrees out here? Is it safe for us to be dropping people in the dunking booth?
STEVE: What? Oh no he loves it. Carl Donaldson was in there earlier and did start turning purple but Wade’s young enough to be dunked for hours yet.
WADE: (jokingly) DO YOUR WORST.
[SFX: Luke winds up and grunts throwing before hitting right on target and Wade is splashed into the water.]
LUKE: (to Sydney) Still got it.
SYDNEY: (mock humoring him) Oh, absolutely.
WADE: What a rush! Great throw. We need you on the softball team!
LUKE: That sounds great!
SYDNEY: That’ll pat his ego for the next week. Ben, can we move along before we sign up for any more activities while trying to raise a newborn? Nice to meet you, Steve.
STEVE: You too. Look forward to seeing you at mass.
FR. BEN: Alright, let’s see here. Oh! Right over here.
[SFX: At they walk again to another area, Archie babbles adorably.]
LUKE: We’ll follow your lead.
FR. BEN: Well (a couple of beats of walking) this is Roger.
ROGER: Ahem.
FR. BEN: (a little annoyed) Supreme Admiral Roger Alito.
ROGER: (overly formal and serious) A pleasure to meet you both.
FR. BEN: Roger runs St. Patrick’s chapter of the men’s club, the Armada of Amerigo. (with a bit of self-satisfaction) But today he and Supreme Vice Admiral Brett are helping Lisa here with face painting!
LISA: (sarcastically) And what a big help they’ve been Father. Nice to meet you, folks.
SYDNEY: (warmly) You too.
ROGER: Well, we were supposed to have a classic “Guess your Age or Weight” booth. Vice Admiral Brett even brought the scale from his UPS facility but somebody…
FR. BEN: (proudly and sternly) But I said it would be wildly inappropriate for our already somewhat exclusionary church organization to go around guessing people’s age and weight.
ROGER: Exclusionary?! Ma’am I’ll have you know just last year Brett’s wife founded a nearly equivalent organization for the women of this Parish. Isn’t that right, Brett?
BRETT: Sure is Admiral!
LISA: (bored and mockingly) Yes and she named them the Sea Maidens of Maria.
SYDNEY: (choking back laughter) That.. is certainly impressive, Admiral.
ROGER: (smugly, not hearing the humor in her tone) It certainly is.
FR. BEN: Lisa, I’m guessing Mitch didn’t want to join us today?
LISA: Actually he’s around here somewhere.
FR. BEN: Oh, really?
LISA: I’m as surprised as you. He was genuinely excited to come. I’m guessing he’d just take any excuse to call out of work on a Saturday but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
FR. BEN: A win is a win with teenagers. Thanks again for taking on our extra volunteers.
LISA: In all honesty, they’ve been fine. The Supreme Admiral isn’t happy, but Brett has really taken to the canvas. Isn’t that right Vice Admiral?
BRETT: Hmm? Oh yes! I’m just about finished with Emma here. And there we’re done. Take a look, Emma. What do you think?
EMMA: It’s just a brown circle?
BRETT: Sounds like a donut to me, huh!? Have a good day now!
EMMA: (leaving) Thanks, I guess?
BRETT: Lisa, do you mind if I rest my hands for a bit? I have to respond to a few moves on my chess with buddies app.
LISA: Sounds like you’re up, Supreme Admiral.
ROGER: (begrudgingly) Can I interest anyone in a donut on their face?
FR. BEN: (warmly) I think I’m good for now, Roger. Either of you want something? Baby Archie?
SYDNEY: Oh sure, what do you say Archie? Want some face paint?
ARCHIE: (untrusting grumbles)
ROGER: What kind of donut does he like? I can do glazed, frosted with sprinkles, Boston creme…
SYDNEY: He’s a baby so honestly whatever.
FR. KLEM: (over a stage mic) Fr. Ben, please report to the stage. It’s time.
FR. BEN: (sighs) That’s my cue.
LUKE: What’s happening?
FR. BEN: Like I said, you’ll see!
[SFX: Ben moves through the crowd as we hear more children cheering and prize bells dinging.]
FR. KLEM: (again over the microphone) And here he is. Everyone’s second favorite priest.
FR. BEN: (taking the mic, sarcastically) Father Klem, folks... Well, hello everyone. Thank you for coming to this year’s Donut Festival. I’m so excited about all of the money we have been able to raise so far to support the St. Patrick’s food pantry. It really warms my heart to know all the fun being had here today means food on the table for so many in our community.
[SFX: There’s a mild smattering of applause.]
FR. BEN: I’m also just so happy that our dear Fr. Klem, who founded this festival, is back and healthy enough to be both the host and guest of honor this year…
FR. KLEM: (yelling from a slight distance away) We’ll see how happy you are in a few minutes!
[SFX: There’s a hearty laugh from the crowd.]
FR. BEN: (laughing with them) That we will Fr. Klem. But in all seriousness, I do quickly just want to say that I know it’s been a crazy couple of years for all of us, but it means the world to me how welcoming this community has been. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but I am consistently blown away with just how connected and loving this Parish is. With Father Klem back in the fold and faces old and new joining together, I believe we're in for a very special year at St. Patrick's.
FR. KLEM: Alright son, that's enough of your rambling. It's time to eat some donuts!
[SFX: There’s a huge cheer of applause and whistling.]
FR. KLEM: As many of you likely know, the last time we had one of these festivals I went into cardiac arrest during the donut eating competition. Well, after speaking to my doctor she made it very clear participating in another one would be, in her words, "suicide." Luckily for all of us, the formidable Father Ben has decided to take my place in pursuit of fried glory. Can the other two competitors join us on stage? Please take your seats.
[SFX: We follow Ben to the competitor’s table as Klem continues to speak in the foreground.]
FR. KLEM: (from a distance like a boxing announcer) In the middle seat, as I just mentioned. The Bad Man of Binghamton, the Sultan of Substitute Priesting.
FR. BEN: (matter of factly) Didn’t expect to see you here, Joe.
WALTERS: I may not receive the respect I once did in this “welcoming community,” but my wife did fry the donuts, so I figure I can participate in the competition given I’m the reigning champion.
FR. KLEM: You know him. You love him. Ladies and gentleman, FAAAAAAAAATHERRR BENJAMIINNNNNNN.
[SFX: There’s another round of applause from the crowd.]
CLARA: (mouth full) Champion? You only won because you kept eating the donuts after Klem keeled over. They didn’t even give you a trophy.
WALTERS: And that’s why I’m back to take what’s rightfully mine.
FR. BEN: Whatever you say, Joe.
FR. KLEM: Let’s hear it for Clara Martin!!!!!
[SFX: Another big woop and round of applause.]
FR. BEN: Clara, you’re already eating? We haven’t started yet.
CLARA: What? Free donuts!
FR. KLEM: And also Joe Walters is competing.
[SFX: There’s silence from the crowd.]
FR. KLEM: In front of each competitor is a pyramid of 39 donuts. That’s right! Three baker’s dozen. They will have ten minutes to see who can eat the most donuts.
FR. BEN: Klem, honestly I don’t know if I can do this…
FR. KLEM: (to Ben and the audience) Too late Ben! Begin eating in 5… (crowd joins) 4… 3…
FR. BEN: Oh God, here we go
FR. KLEM: 2…. 1!
[SFX: Klem shoots a starter pistol.]
KLEM: Start your eating!!
FR. BEN: Did you bring a gun?!
KLEM: (into the mic) Don’t worry everyone, it’s a prop gun. Borrowed it from Clara! Which is a great reminder that Clara’s youth group will be putting on a modern adaptation of the Passion of Christ this year.
[MUSIC: Bouncy electronic music underscores the eating.]
CLARA: (mouth full) Tickets are 50 dollars!!!
[SFX: All three eating donuts frantically.]
FR. KLEM: Looking at our contestants it looks like Joe Walters is off to an early lead but you have to wonder if he’ll have the endurance to keep up this pace. Clara is right on his tail eating two at a time!! Benji, you better start tucking those donuts away. These other two are already a baker’s dozen in!!!
FR. BEN: I’m trying! I didn’t expect the drink we’d get to be hot coffee!!!
FR. KLEM: What else are you supposed to serve with donuts?!
[SFX: We hear Mitchell approaching and screaming frantically.]
FR. BEN: What was that?
FR. KLEM: Sounds like a priest looking for a reason to stop eating donuts.
FR. BEN: No… Who’s that running… Mitchell?
MITCHELL: FIRE!!!! THERE’S A FIRE!!! CALL 911!!!!!
[SFX: We transition to the sound of sirens and a dying fire crackling.]
FR. BEN: Thank you both so much for sticking around.
SYDNEY: Of course. You know Luke wanted to play volunteer firefighter for the afternoon. Plus Archie and I got to hang out at the petting zoo. Nothing gets a 1-year-old excited quite like a pig in a sweater.
FR. BEN: Well, I promise I’ve been at this Parish for over a year, and this is easily the largest fire we’ve had so far.
LUKE: Donuts, fire emergency, watching you publicly embarrass yourself on stage. It’s clear this place is a heck of a lot more fun than Mother of Mercy back in Bing. You’ve got yourself a couple new parishioners, I’d say.
FR. BEN: (chuckling) I’m glad to hear it.
FR. KLEM: (approaching from the crowd) Benji! There you are. You know I have to say, on a personal level, this was still a much more enjoyable festival than the last one.
FR. BEN: Hey Klem, this is Luke, Sydney, and baby Archie. They’re the potential new parishioners I told you about
FR. KLEM: Well, can’t say you didn’t try Benji. Luke and Sydney, I don’t think the Lutheran church has had a fire in several months, might be a good place to look next.
SYDNEY: We’d still come here even if the church itself burned down! Fr. Ben was such a breath of fresh air at our last church.
FR. KLEM: That pulpit must have been very far from the pews. I promise you, Fr. Ben’s breath is anything but…
FR. BEN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, though, I’d rather have our apartment burn down than deal with the hassle this will cause.
FR. KLEM: Probably would’ve been better if the whole church burned down and this was spared.
[SFX: Ben lets out a mirthful snort.]
ROGER: (from a slight distance) I’m told you’re the Fire Marshall? I DEMAND answers. Now.
TED: Sorry sir, I can’t just share details from an active fire.
BRETT: Admiral they already said it’s likely an oil fire from the donuts.
ROGER: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?
TED: Oh yeah! You’re that guy from the van commercials. “You think you’re a man? Get a conversion van.”
ROGER: Well yes, and come by the dealership anytime for our special local heroes rate, but I’ll have you know that I am the SUPREME ADMIRAL of the St. Patrick’s Chapter of the Armada of Amerigo.
BRETT: Look Supreme Admiral, there’s Father Ben. Maybe we can leave the Fire Marshall alone especially considering he’s my wife’s cousin. Sorry, Ted.
TED: All good, Brett. Part of the gig.
FR. BEN: (quietly to Klem, sighing) Here they come…
FR. KLEM: Sorry Benji, you’re on your own with this one. Luke, Sydney, little baby, why don’t I give you a quick history of St. Patrick’s?
SYDNEY: Oh that sounds great! (whispers) Sorry Father.
[SFX: The stroller moves as Luke, Sydney, Archie, and Klem escape this upcoming confrontation.]
FR. BEN: Wait, don’t leave me! Annnd they’re gone
ROGER: (to the captain) Ok but know I go to the same country club as the mayor and he WILL be hearing about this.
TED: (sarcastic) You’re welcome for stopping your Church from burning down!
ROGER: Oh you think you’re so heroic for doing your job!
BRETT: Please, come on Admiral. He’s not worth it and I have to go to a wedding with him next week.
ROGER: Fine, fine. Father! A word please.
[SFX: Brett and Roger approach Ben from afar.]
FR. BEN: Hi Roger. I’m so sorry for what happened to the A of A Lounge.
BRETT: And bowling alley.
FR. BEN: What?
BRETT: It’s the A of A Lounge and Bowling Alley. Was the A of A Lounge and bowling alley (begins to cry).
ROGER: You’ve upset him, Father! You know how fragile the Vice Admiral is.
FR. BEN: I’m sorry for the oversight, and again so sorry for what happened. I know how much that space meant to your community.
ROGER: We appreciate that Father and look forward to rebuilding.
FR. BEN: I know you’re a resilient bunch and wouldn’t expect anything less.
ROGER: With… that in mind… I think it’s only appropriate for a… redirection… of today’s fundraising.
FR. BEN: (laughs in shock) Wait, what?
ROGER: I’m sure everyone here would agree this is the most urgent cause facing our ministry now.
FR. BEN: You want us to use funds that were raised… for our food pantry… which feeds hungry people… to repair your lounge?
BRETT: (holding back tears) AND BOWLING ALLEY!
FR. BEN: and bowling alley.
ROGER: I mean it’s a drop in the bucket of what we’ll need but it’s a start. I know it’s a difficult conversation and you have a tendency for… what do you kids call it? Anxiety about this whole thing, but I believe in you Father.
FR. BEN: I… don’t think you’re seeing the point.
ROGER: (reeking with condescension) Father Benjamin… come on now. We’re all in this together. We’ll raise funds and use church funding to rebuild. That in combination with the lawsuit we will be slapping on the ARSONIST who did this will allow us to create a space greater than what was there before.
BRETT: And two lanes for the bowling alley!
ROGER: (consoling) That’s right Vice Admiral, two lanes. We’re going to have two lanes.
BRETT: But Admiral… I don’t think there’s been any evidence of arson.
ROGER: I wouldn’t expect you or these fools in the fire department to see it but nothing escapes the eyes of a car salesman. We’ll find him or her.
FR. BEN: Please tell me you’re not about to start interrogating half the Church.
ROGER: Father, I get it. You’re scared. This is a scary time! But we’ll do what’s best.
FR. BEN: Roger, I’m not… look, the Church won’t condone that kind of thing from you.
ROGER: Given this is your fault, I expect a bit more cooperation.
FR. BEN: Are you accusing me of arson?
ROGER: Woah, woah, calm down big hoss. I’m just saying that you’ve poisoned this church against its more traditionally-minded parishioners.
FR. BEN: I highly doubt somebody would stoop to that level.
ROGER: You really don’t think there are any left-wing, gay-supporting, socialist SJWs in this church who would be willing to go full ANTIFA on our peaceful lounge?
FR. BEN: What the hell are you talking about?
ROGER: Hey hey hey, easy there Father. I didn’t mean to strike a nerve.
BRETT: You really don’t need to get upset, Father.
FR. BEN: Look, you cannot harass the members of this Church.
ROGER: (interrupting) We’ll find some time to talk next week. Please bring the church financial books to the meeting. We have some reworking to do.
FR. BEN: (patience waning) I get this is shocking, and what happened is terrible, but I’m serious. Your group does not run St. Patrick’s!
ROGER: (interrupting again) Oh yes. Yes, that’s a good point. We’ll talk more next week. Come on Brett. We have to plan a vigil and an investigation!
[SFX: The two men leave without hearing Ben’s protest.]
FR. BEN: What? Wait! (sighs) Here we go again.
[MUSIC: Bouncy acoustic guitar music starts as the Forgive Me credits music plays.]
ADAM: Stay tuned for a glimpse into Father Ben’s time with the Genesee River Monks, but first, the credits.
Forgive Me! is a Rogue Dialogue production. This episode was written and directed by Jack Marone and Bob Raymonda.
Here’s our cast in order of appearance:
Josh Rubino Father Klem
Casey Callaghan Father Ben
Zach Valenti Luke
Lauren Shippen Sydney
Adam Raymonda Adam
Dallas Wheatly Andrew
Ann Sweet Margaret
Milo Marone Archie
Derek Emerson Powell Tom
Jack Marone Steve
Jordan Higgs Wade
Bob Frame Roger
Danyelle Ellett Lisa
Michael Antico Brett
Sam Twardy Emma
Michael Larkin Joe Walters
Krystal Osborne Clara
Sawyer Greene Mitchell
Jake Kalka Ted
And coming up in the epilogue:
Jeremy Beazlie Brother Jonathan
Script editing by Jordan Stillman.
Dialogue Editing by Bob Raymonda.
Sound design, score, and mixing by me, Adam Raymonda.
Additional background music from Johnathan Bartmann.
All of the graphic design comes from Sam Twardy.
This season we’ve got a 13-episode Patreon-exclusive series called Confessions with Klem! Our Patrons will get a glance into the secrets of the St. Patrick’s community with everyone’s favorite witty nihilistic Priest.
This week’s episode we hear Bella come into the confessional for the first time in preparation for her First Communion:
[MUSIC: Briefly cuts as we go into the confessional.]
BELLA: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
FR. KLEM: You’re forgiven! Ahhhh. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
BELLA: Father Klem!
FR. KLEM: What?
BELLA: You can’t forgive me until I tell you what I’ve done!
FR. KLEM: Says who?
[MUSIC: The credits theme starts playing again.]
To get access to this Patreon-exclusive series as well as an ad-free version of our feed, become a supporting parishioner over at patreon.com/roguedialogue.
Are you enjoying the start of our new season? If you are - go follow the show on your favorite podcast player. If you REALLY enjoyed it rate and review it on Podchaser or Apple Podcasts.
We’ll be back in two weeks with episode 2! For now, let’s flashback to Father Ben’s experience with the Genesee River Monks.
POST CREDIT SCENE
[SFX: BEN Presses a buzzer at the monastery gate.]
BROTHER JONATHAN: (muffled through buzzer) Father Ben, it’s our pleasure to host you this week.
FR. BEN: Thank you, Brother Jonathan. It’s great to be here and commune peacefully.
BROTHER JONATHAN: I’ll go ahead and buzz you in now. I’d like to remind you, once through this gate... We ask you to remain totally silent.
FR. BEN: (laughing) Haha, my lips are sealed.
[SFX: The gate buzzes and the gate opens. After Ben walks through, it closes again. Ben continues to walk into the compound.]
FR. BEN: (internal monologue) My lips are sealed? Dumb joke… what a waste of my last words. Brother Jonathan didn’t even crack a smile. Are you allowed to smile here? You have to be, right? Gotta remember to keep an eye out for people smiling.
{SFX: As Ben settles, we hear the calming sounds of birds and crickets chirping.]
FR. BEN: Well, here we are, at peace. This is nice. Fully calm… such a beautiful quiet…
[SFX: There’s a beat of silence as we just hear crickets and the sound of Ben breathing.]
FR. BEN: Shoes. What? Why did I just think the word shoes. Weird word… Shoes SHOOOOES Shoes. Not that weird. Did I bring more than one pair? I think I just brought these Recent Balances. I can’t imagine why I’d need a pair of oxfords. But what if we go on a hike? Do monks hike? I didn’t think we’d be leaving these grounds.
[SFX: Out of monologue, Ben makes noises with his mouth. A monk clears their throat, and he catches himself and stops, embarrassed.]
FR. BEN: I don’t know if I can do this.